Most children adore dogs, and most dogs are not sure about children — that mismatch explains a painful truth: many dog bites involving kids happen with a familiar dog, during an ordinary greeting that went wrong. The good news is that safe greetings are a teachable skill. With a few simple rules — practiced by adults first, then handed down to children — almost every dog meeting can end in a wag instead of a warning.
Why Ordinary Greetings Go Wrong
Dogs are usually approached the way people greet each other: head-on, fast, with direct eye contact and a hand reaching over the head. To a dog, that stack of signals reads as rude at best and threatening at worst. Add a squealing child running up from behind, and even a friendly dog may freeze, turn away, or snap — not out of aggression, but because every polite “please give me space” signal was missed. Asking permission, slowing down, and letting the dog choose fixes nearly all of it.
The Three-Step Greeting
Use this sequence with any dog you do not live with — it works for adults and can be taught to kids as a rhyme: Ask, wait, pet gently.
- Ask the person. Stop a few feet away and ask the dog’s guardian, “May I pet your dog?” Accept “no” cheerfully — many dogs are uncomfortable with strangers, and a dog running loose with no owner present is always a no.
- Ask the dog. This is the step adults skip. Stand still, turn slightly sideways, and let the dog come to you. Offer a loose fist, palm down and low, for a sniff. Then read the answer (below) instead of assuming it.
- Pet gently. If the dog approaches willingly, stroke the chest, side of the neck, or along the back for a few seconds — then pause. A dog who leans in for more has said yes; a dog who steps away has ended the greeting, and that is fine.
Never reach over the head, hug, or lean over a dog’s back — most dogs dislike all three, especially from strangers.
Reading the Dog’s Answer
Dogs vote with their bodies. Before any petting, check what the dog is actually saying:
| Signal | Dog says yes | Dog says no |
|---|---|---|
| Approach | Comes forward willingly, loose wiggly body | Backs away, hides behind the owner, stays out of reach |
| Face and eyes | Soft gaze, relaxed mouth, may blink | Turns head away, whale eye, hard stare, lip licking |
| Body and tail | Loose wag at mid-height, playful curves | Stiff freeze, tucked tail, crouching, growling |
| Ears | Relaxed in a natural position | Pinned flat or pushed far forward |
If the answer is no, thank the dog for telling you and walk away. Never let anyone drag a reluctant dog forward “because he’s friendly.”
Rules Every Child Should Know
Children need a shorter, firmer version, because their faces are at dog height and their instinct is to hug. Drill these until they are automatic:
- Always ask a grown-up first — every single time, even for a dog you know.
- Never approach a dog who is eating, sleeping, in a crate or car, tied up outside a shop, or with puppies.
- No hugs, kisses, climbing, or chasing — including with your own family dog.
- Pet the chest or back, not the head, and keep your face away from the dog’s face.
- Be a tree if a loose dog approaches: stand still, fold your arms, look down at your feet, and stay quiet until the dog moves on. If knocked over, curl into a ball and protect your head and neck.
Practice these as role-play at home before they are needed on the street, and supervise every interaction between young children and any dog — not from across the room, but within arm’s reach. Give dogs a child-free safe space to retreat to, and never punish a growl: a growl is information, and punishing it only removes the warning. Taught early and kindly, these habits protect kids, respect dogs, and turn every future greeting into a good one.